I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
Randomize