i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
