Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize
