i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
You may now shotgun with the bride
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
Randomize
