somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
i used baking grease as lip gloss
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
Randomize
