My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
Randomize
