i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Randomize
