Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
You asked the waitress for a vasectomy and handed her a butter knife, like you were ordering something from the menu
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
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