So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Randomize
