Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
