I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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