My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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