your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
Randomize
