this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
Randomize
