Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
Randomize
