"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
