it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Randomize
