The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
