It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
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