i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
Randomize
