ya dads aren't the best wingmen
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
Randomize
