He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
Randomize
