Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
Randomize
