So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
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