She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
