dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
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