My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
This toilet bowl is my home.
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
Randomize
