So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
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