I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
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