Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
Silently passing ghastly beer farts as I move around the bridal department at Tiffany's. Call it my contribution to the holiday spirit.
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
Randomize
