oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize
