You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
Blow job season was short but glorious.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
Randomize
