Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
