And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
