MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
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