i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
My pussy is not your playground.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
Randomize
