ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
Randomize