yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
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