Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
Randomize
