If i could tip my vagina, i would.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
Randomize
