I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
