yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
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