we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
Randomize
