dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
Randomize
