where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
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