she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
it's great music for shaving your balls
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Randomize
