I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
Randomize
