1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
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