Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
Randomize
