Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
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