My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize