So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
Randomize
