It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
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