we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
Ladies don't puke and tell
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
Randomize
