The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize
