This is not my ceiling
Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
Randomize
