i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Randomize
