i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
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